Swelling Up With Adoration

This week our guest speaker has been a remarkable man who goes by the name Robert Amess. Robert is an amazingly humble man, and he is truly gifted in communicating God’s profound Word to others. We have been studying the book of Hebrews with him and I must say that as I study this book, my awareness of the Lord’s compassion grows deeper. Tonight before we began lectures we sang Oh Come Let Us Adore Him and beneath the layers of familiarity of this old hymn God shared with me something sweet and unknown- that the desire of His heart is for my adoration. The more I study the Scripture and learn about the heart of this Jesus, the more my heart swells up in adoration for Him. 

This week I had my first outreach with the homeless. My outreach team goes out every other Monday from 5-9pm to serve alongside a ministry dedicated to loving the homeless community in Lancaster, which is about a half hour away from Carnforth. Once we arrive in Lancaster we first prepare the food and spend time worshipping and praying over our time of outreach. Then we pack all of the food up and bring it to the city fountain where our friends wait for us. The people are all so kind. I was very humbled and blessed by them. Stephen was one of the first guys I talked to and he is so sweet. He asked me what my job was back in the States before I moved and I told him that I babysat for a family. Stephen then proceeded to ask if I had children…haha. When I told him no and that I was only eighteen years old, he came over and hugged me saying “oh! She’s just a little baby!” I wish you could know the kindness of Stephen, he has such a big heart.

I also talked with a lady named Laura who shared with me a lot about her life and especially her teenage son, who is living with her mother currently. I don’t know all of the circumstances but I do know that Laura’s heart is broken. She loves and misses her son very much. I was so blessed by her honesty and she gave me the biggest hug before she left. Sometimes I get overwhelmed thinking about how to reach out to people like the homeless, but I learned that it’s really very simple. Reaching out is to share life with them, it’s offering nourishment, a listening ear and open arms.

So often I approach missions and outreach with the mindset that I will bless others, but actually they end up blessing me so much more. Please pray for my friends in Lancaster- that their hearts would be softened and that they would know the compassion and love Christ has for them.

Another note on outreach, the second term of winter school we have our 10-day outreach. There is an opportunity for ten students to go to Africa and I went to a meeting on Friday to get more information. The application process is quite fast. We get the applications tomorrow and are to turn them in by this Friday. Please pray for me as I pursue this opportunity- that God would give me peace and affirmation if it is His will for me to go to Africa.

To be completely honest, the last two weeks have been very wearying. I have been feeling so burdened and at times, very alone here. Yes, I am living in England next to a castle, surrounded my beautiful plush green pastures and wonderfully kind people, not to mention access to delicious European pastries, but the truth is, life still happens here. Bad days still occur in my life, and good days just the same. The frustrations of terrible Internet connection and the difficulty to get in touch with those back home [and in South Korea] has been a large contributor to the loneliness I feel at times. I long for the refreshment and joy of hearing those familiar voices and seeing their sweet faces, and its so frustrating to be limited in resources to get in touch with them. I suppose I’m a homebody away from home, and it’s starting to get uncomfortable. But if there is one thing I can attest to time and time again, it’s the compassion of Christ. He knows what I am feeling completely and he meets me in my need. I love the fact that Jesus came and dwelled among us as a man and that he felt human emotion. He is not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses. I was so touched by this over the course of the past week- to know that I am known and understood by the Lord, and completely. I am loved and provided for in my weakness. I can’t help but adore Jesus. When I am far from home, His presence is with me. I pray that He would make my heart sensitive to know and to feel it.

Psalm 139: 5-12 says “You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your right hand shall hold me. If I say, ‘surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,’ even darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.”

The trees are starting to lose their leaves and weather here in England has begun to get much colder. I can’t even imagine colder weather, but I know it’s coming. Thank goodness for our heater, Ernest, hot tea, sweaters and blankets. They make the cold seem cozy and so very lovely. I hope you are doing well, friends. I do certainly miss you all and look forward to seeing you at Christmas time.

One Weeks Time

Hello darling friends,

Goodness? Where should I began? I have been here at Capernwray for one week now, which I find to be incredibly strange. I feel as though it was forever ago. I have come so far since my last blog entry. No literally! I am living in England!

I wanted to write a little update to inform you not only about my journey here, but also the newest developments in life here at Capernwray. To begin, when I boarded my plane I found my seat to be next to this little old lady. She seemed to be so sweet and cute, but she was actually really sarcastic and a bit of a pessimist. I found it to be quite funny, actually and I believe we formed a special bond. She was like my little grandma on the plane. She helped me open my orange juice and yogurt and all sorts of things. When we landed in London this dear old british man helped me get my heavy backpack down from the overhead bin, and as he handed it over he said, "don't foll ova" in his wonderful accent. I ended up chatting with him and his wife all the way to customs. They made me feel so welcome and at home here. It's sweet the ways God blesses you through people! There was a bit of trouble with customs... don't laugh but I forgot my acceptance letter to school at home, so they didn't exactly believe I was a genuine student at first. It was the scariest moment of my life, but do not fear! I won them over in the end ;).

I boarded my next flight to manchester with much anticipation, and as the pilot announced the ten degree weather it hit me, I had arrived. And yes, it felt just as cold as it was.

I fought for bravery riding the train from Manchester to Carnforth. The change I had been hesitating for so long was about to become more real than ever before. Yet, I cannot begin to explain the provision and faithfulness of our great God. I was continually reminded of the word dwell. When we dwell in God, when we make him our resting place and open ourselves to receive His comfort, surely His peace will sustain us and keep us fast. 

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty... Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place- the Most High, who is my refuge- no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways." -Psalm 91:1 & 9-11

God's faithfulness has kept me fast.

On another note, my roommates are great. I have six of them and we live under the conference hall (not in the castle, but we are still cool). Kristin, Kaiya and Maddie are from the States, and then Kat, Brie and Naomi are from Canada. We are all so different, but we are also very closely knit as a room. One of the great things about living under the Conference Hall is that its so warm. Our lovely heater, who we call Ernest, keeps us very warm. Sometimes we just go and form a circle around Ernest, and if you close your eyes and put some imagination in your thoughts it's almost as if you are cozied up by the fire :).

The Wiggleworths. Not only do I have amazing roommates but an amazing Family Group here at Capernwray. Our last name is the Wiggleworths. My leaders are Esther (or "Gran" as we call her), Carolyn and Kuan. They are the sweetest, fun-loving, people ever. Esther is the grandmother to everyone here at Cape. She lives in a cottage called Green Pastures about three miles from school and invites students over anytime for tea or to bake cookies. Everyone who asks me whose family group I am in is so jealous when I say Grandma Esther. She is just that special. Friday night my family group had a fondue party and played games. It was such a delight, and I am looking forward to the fun times to come!

Going places, seeing things:

On Wednesday we took a minibus into Carnforth and adventured around. I purchased a loaf of homemade tea bread and homemade strawberry jam from a local, and then we spent most of our time at Edelweiss Cafe drinking lattes and eating pastries! It is the cutest place, and a little piece of Austria here in England. I had apple strudel with custard, and I really cannot describe the happiness and delight that had come upon my heart as I put that first bite in my mouth. It was heaven. I will definitely be going back there for a visit soon.

Every weekend the school hosts a Saturday trip somewhere, and this weekend it was to the Lakes District. We took a bus there, and then walked about two hours from one area to the other. We ended up in this cute little mountain town, which looked like a mini Colorado in England. I thought of you, Stiles! When we got into town, I ran into the first coffee shop in sight and ordered a chai latte. Oh my word, it was divine! I miss chai lattes, and pretzels... but that's just random.

Today we had church and it was a really great service. I talked and prayed with one of my roommates after service and it was a really sweet time. After I got back to my room I read and fell asleep for a good hour and a half. It was a glorious and much needed nap. I just love Sundays, and that they exist for the purpose of rest. 

Well, my friends, that is the latest and greatest from life here in England. It's been an adventure and a challenge, and as I await the days, weeks and months to come, my heart beats in tune with this prayer that one of the advisors here at Capernwray prayed over us just the other day.

"Lord, help us to know that from the top of our heads to the soles of our feet, that we are loved and that you are not only in us, but you are for us and that whatever the emotions bubbling inside our hearts, that you are enough. Jesus, you are enough for us."

Love you guys,
Shea