I am back at my little english home away from home, and my heart is still kind of falling apart from saying goodbye to everyone and everything. When I first arrived home it felt as though I had just been away for a few weeks. Everything about being home came back to me quickly and easily. I got used to being so comfortable. Comfortable seeing familiar faces, taking nice hot showers, having my own transportation, sleeping in my bed and having my own space, and of course, eating good food (no offense Capernwray or England... but nothing compares to my momma's home-cooking). But all of those things are not constant realities in my life right now, and I'm really learning what it looks like to rely on the Lord as I live in the discomfort of a foreign place. The break went by so, so quickly and I honestly don't want to be here quite yet. I am still in "home mode", still recovering from saying goodbye for another three months and processing what's ahead in those upcoming months. Living in the moment is such a toughy for me, but I have been reminded and reassured of God's love, which is this immovable, comforting shelter that dims the ache in my heart and illuminates me with hope. So, whether the days go by fast or slow, it is my prayer that I would soak up and learn as much as I can from this experience. To not try and take on the next three months at one time but trust in the Lord's sustaining love and faithfulness in each day.
I was reading through past journal entries on the plane, and I stumbled across a verse I wrote down when I was living in Baltimore this summer. I remember it really encouraging me when I was feeling a bit anxious. It's Psalm 33:20-22.
"We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."
Anyway, I shall write more soon.
Tootles.
